A few nights ago, I woke up in the middle of the night after what I like to call “the hamburger dream”. When I was little, my mother didn’t have a lot of money and that sometimes meant we had to go without food. I’d go to bed after not eating all day and I’d dream of a big, fat hamburger sitting on a plate right in front of me. I’d open my mouth to take a bite and wake up just before I could sink my teeth in. I’d look around confused, wondering where my hamburger went only to have the crushing realization that my subconscious was a jerk and had played a cruel joke on me. Now that I’m older, well, okay – I write online for a living. That often means I don’t have food because this isn’t a job you do if you’re looking to get rich – or pay the bills, for that matter. Anyway, I still have the hamburger dream on occasion (although now it’s usually a Tim Horton’s Chicken Wrap or chicken nuggets) and it’s still just as disappointing to wake up and find I’m trying to eat my pillow. What does all this have to do with these photos of Adriana Lima in Los Angeles? Well let me tell you. The other night, I had the hamburger dream, as I mentioned. This time though, I wasn’t alone in my dream. I was on a beach relaxing in a beach chair when Adriana Lima came over to me. She said she’d seen a post I wrote about her and wanted to buy me dinner. I wasn’t going to turn that offer down so I got up and suddenly we were in our bikinis in some fancy beach restaurant. Everyone else was in full black tie garb and I felt self conscious. Adriana told me it was okay because we were just a little early for bikini time. Suddenly I looked around and everyone had changed into bikinis – including the men, which was weird. Anyway, we laughed for a bit and Adriana asked what I wanted to eat. I, for some reason, suddenly felt panic because I was with Adriana and although I was starving, I didn’t want to eat more than she was eating. Then for some reason, we were in the kitchen of the restaurant and all of the food was in front of us. Adriana started eating everything in sight and I was just about to take a bit of a chicken nugget when I woke up. It was like the disappointment of a hamburger dream multiplied by a number I can’t even calculate but I couldn’t really feel the full weight of that disappointment. I was too busy trying to wrap my head around what was by far the weirdest dream I ever had – and I once had a dream my ex-boyfriend turned into a bucket of chicken my family wanted to eat. Yes. These are the things I dream about. A shrink would have a field day with me!
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