Yeah, I’m just gonna put this out there right up front. I don’t find Khloe Kardashian remotely attractive. Not even a little bit. I’m not sure what it is about her I’m not really into, but there’s definitely something that just doesn’t sit right with me. That awful red lipstick and those awful red jeans aren’t doing her any favors. I’ll say this for her though – she does have nice boobs which she seems perfectly fine with showing off outside the Dash store she owns with her sisters. That’s one thing all of the Kardashian sisters seem to have in common – they know how to play up their strengths.
KIM K, SUPERSTAR
I am 30 years old and act like a vain and self-obsessed 13-year old. My dream was always to become a princess, but I became an anal porn star but I still think I am a princess. My body is full of plastic surgery. My boobs, azz, lips, teeth, cheeks, nose, facelift etc. are all bought and paid for, courtesy of a plastic surgeon. The reason why my hair is beautiful is because its fake. I was also jealous of Paris Hilton and put out a SEX TAPE because she did. I idolized Paris Hilton. I used to hang on her like a koala bear all the time, to get my picture taken by the paparazzi. Until 2007 I did cocaine. I know there are pictures as proof, but I will deny it forever.
My pimp mother, Kris, fvcked the pool boy while my father, Robert Kardashian, was at work. He was one of the lawyers that helped keep OJ Simpson out of jail after he killed Ron Goldman and his ex-wife Nicole. Anyway, the result was my pathetic half gorilla sister Khloe, who is a whore just like me. Whenever my mouth is moving I am lying, as I am INCAPABLE of telling the truth about anything. I pretend that if I lie about things people will eventually believe it. The way I walk, talk, and laugh is fake; and if you look into my eyes you can even see that my soul is fake.
Although I pretended to be upset by the sex tape, I was the one that sent it to Vivid Entertainment, and they paid me $5 million to expose my nasty self. Ray J had nothing to do with the leaked sex tape. I tricked him into making a porn film with me for distribution. My former publicist, Jonathan Jaxson, knows what happened! I am just waiting for him, and many more, to come out and reveal how I really am.
I exploit my FAKE body all of the time because I lack intelligence, class, dignity, self-respect, elegance, and morals. I really am a very dirty woman.
My ex husband Damon Thomas whom I married at the age of 19 in Las Vegas publicly called me: untalented, a trashy whore, desperate, a plastic surgery addict, a backstabber (to my family), and a cheater. I have no real friends because I have misused and stepped on everybody that has come my way for fame. I am currently using social medias to snake my way in to other celebrity’s lives for friendship and publicity. I show up like a diva to all kind of award shows that I have NO business at all to attend. The only award show I should attend is the AVN. I call the paparazzi myself. I learned that trick from Paris Hilton, but I’m too cheap to buy their lunch like she does.
I am 25% iranien and 25% Turkish but armenian sounds better. My ancestors were Muslims.
I have NO talent what so ever. I was thrown off Dancing with the Stars on the second week. I made a work out video that clearly shows I have never worked out in my life. I did a test shoot for Playboy, but after seeing the proofs they refuse to acknowledge me. I got a Razzie for my horrendous performance in the parody Disaster Movie. I should have gotten one for my sextape as well. My song JAM, I have no words for. It is the most annoying and pitiful song in history. I sing like an unmusical, tone deaf, four year old who wants a cookie from Grandma. Anybody who don’t like me for the rotten and lying whore that I am I call haters or jealous!
We, the Kardashians, call each other dolls, and I alone have tainted the pussycat dolls by heisting their concept. I pretend that I care about others, but I could not care less. I only care about myself. I tried to fvck over children by selling them an insane debit Master Card with predatory fees. It was unfortunately taken off the market after 1 week under threat of legal action from several states. Thankfully I found a new way to rip off the kids with glam silly bandz. Over weight children should skip normal diet & exercise and do shady diet pills or lipo-suction like me.
I Stole $120k from Ray J and Brandy’s mother, Sonja Norwood, credit card. After being busted I paid her back with the money I got from the sex tape I made with her son. That’s the circle life, Mrs. Norwood. The clothes at Dash are pure knock offs from top brands and designers. I don’t even know how to sew on a button or sketch anything. But I call myself a fashion designer. The logo on my perfumes is a complete rip of from Korcula creator Lindley Bertin.
For World AIDS Day I went off social medias until my fans had raised $1M.
I was confident that within 12 hours I would be back. Seven days later I had to be bailed out by a billionaire who wanted to spare me shame. This is how much my «fans» value and missed me.
I have never been single because I am to scared to spend time with myself. I am looking very much forward to the day my grand children sits on my lap and ask me if I am an anal porn star because that’s what everybody in kindergarten will say.
I also love to flaunt my gigantic fake hippo azz. It’s my calling card for any rich Black man that wants to ram my azz hard and move on! Evan Ross, Marquis Houston, Scott Storch, Fabolous, The Game, Nick Cannon, Nick Lachey, Tyson Beckford, William ‘Ray J’ Norwood, Reggie Bush, Christiano, Chengo (The Bodyguard is one of my favorite movies ever) Miles Austin, Gabriel Aubry (only because everybody said I was only into black guys) Kanye West, and soon Kris Humpries; are just a FEW of the men that have ALL fvcked, pissed in my mouth, AND dumped me. They know that I am trash and that brings their reputations down to the gutter with mine. I will fvck anyone for publicity. I have had many STDs, but the only one I have now is herpes (got that from Paris too). I am pathetic, plastic, and terribly insecure.
I am the worst «rolemodel» that has ever walked this planet.
I am a huge shame for the armenian people.
I am a national and international joke, and gave out my own ANAL/PISS SEX TAPE to get famous. I am a human toilet. I am clearly a very sick human being and I’m 100% shameless. I am the filthiest famewhore in the whole wide world!
I am Kim Kardashian… Superstar
Nicely written, but a few observations.
1. This post is about Khloe Kardashian. You might’ve had more of an impact if you waited to comment with this on something actually related to Kim. Give it a day or two. I’m sure she’ll step out in something revealing before long.
2. Kim is an alright role model when you compare her with someone like Karissa Shannon, Heidi Montag or any of the girls on Jersey Shore or Teen Mom who are sadly considered role models.
3. As for the fame whore thing, see the above item. Come on – Karissa boffed an old man to get famous then made a sex tape with Heidi Montag and (apparently) Spencer Pratt. I would take it up the butt long before I’d like Heidi or Spencer bring their naked bodies anywhere near mine.
4. At least she gave the money back to Sonja. No one gets their money back when they buy her shitty clothes.
5. I watched the Kim/Ray J porn. I don’t remember anything about piss. Maybe I blocked out that memory.
6. Lastly, lots of actresses have gotten Razzies – Sandra Bullock, Halle Berry… other people I can’t remember. It’s not a huge deal. And don’t knock the Razzie. At least it seems to have stopped Kim’s ‘acting’ career.
Regardless of a few little things I didn’t agree with, I thoroughly enjoyed the comment. I like Kim in a ‘the best of the worst’ kind of way, but your comment made me smile.
HELLO
sexy bitch
damn she is hot, yummy she has great big knockers