Search Results for “ass”

I have long hated Gwyneth Paltrow. Everything about his is pretentious. You can almost imagine the size of the rod that must be up her ass for her to be so incredibly uptight. Then ‘Glee’ happened. What the hell was that? She was… funny. She was… lighthearted. That isn’t the Gwyn I know and hate. I actually kind of liked her. Does that mean I have to rethink my whole position on Paltrow and admit that maybe I was wrong. Why yes. Yes it does. I would like to take a moment to publicly apologize to Gwyneth Paltrow for mindlessly hating her based only on her creation of the ridiculously snobby Goop. (Still hate Goop, Gwyn. Sorry.) Keep us laughing. And while you’re at it, keep showin’ off that hot body of yours in dress like the one you wore to the premiere of Country Strong. Love the tie accents on the dress. It shows a lot of skin but somehow doesn’t look trashy. Classy. We’re cool now, Gwyn but really – we gotta talk about Goop. Call me.

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Say what you want about Katy Perry but she sure knows how to make people talk about her. Hitting the stage at the Y100 Jingle Ball 2010 at BankAtlantic Center, Katy dresses up like some sort of sexy Mrs. Claus, but I can’t help but think someone in the wardrobe department got fired for forgetting to finish Katy’s skirt. At least Katy was wearing festive panties to go with the outfit. Would’ve been pretty embarrassing if she decided to wear her Grannie panties. Just kidding, of course. I sincerely doubt Katy owns Grannie panties. In all honesty, I’m not really feeling the whole half skirt look. I guess she wasn’t showing off her upstairs enough so she had to put the downstairs on display. That’s just the way she rolls, after all. She still looks hot, but I think she would’ve looked hotter if she decided to cover her panties.

I’m sorry but seriously, there is nothing – nothing – sexy about Kathy Griffin. Nothing. I don’t care how nice her body is. Her voice makes me want to stab my own ears out. Her comedy relies on shock with very little humor. And her face. Good Lord, that face! Yeah, she has a hot body but no matter how hard I try to ignore her head and enjoy her body in there pictures from The USO Presents “Vh1 Divas Salute the Troops”, I can’t ignore the fact that I sincerely loathe this woman. I look at her flat tummy, her nice legs and her passable rack and all I can think is that those body parts would look so much better on someone who is less of a complete c-word. You know the word, I’m looking for there. I hate that word, but something the b-word just isn’t enough and with a creature as vile as Kathy Griffin, I’m not sure even the c-word is strong enough.

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Hey everybody look! We can see what we’ve already seen a million times but this time covered (if you can call that covered) by a thin layer of material. Who cares anymore? I demand to know. Is this still shocking? Is this still news? Paris Hilton has an ass and she appears to be quite proud of it. I can’t entirely understand why, though. It’s not really all that spectacular. It’s clear Paris wants to get her name in the headlines again so she’s flashing her rear. And it worked. I’m writing about it right now. And it will continue to work. I just hope she gets over this little habit before she’s old and grey. No one wants to see that. Well, I suppose some people do. There’s a market for everything out there these days.

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Juliette Lewis is pretty hot, right? But she’s not the typical, boring, bland sort of hot you usually see in Hollywood actresses. No, Juliette Lewis is a special kind of hot. She’s the kind of hot that makes me a little afraid. Sure she’s pretty but I’m also well aware that she’s also more than capable of kicking my ass. Probably with her hands tied behind her back somehow. I love the girl, but she plays crazy just a little too well. I mean, Kalifornia? Natural Born Killers? Classic roles and brilliantly acted but if she’s not a little crazy herself she is the most phenomenal actress I’ve ever seen because she played both of those roles perfectly. So perfectly, in fact, that seeing her in her bikini in Los Cabos, Mexico makes me a little afraid. I’m scared she’s going to somehow know I’m ogling her hot body, show up at my door ‘My Name Is Earl’ bounty hunter style and knock my teeth out.

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I don’t know, folks. I just don’t find Kristin Cavallari that attractive. I mean, sure she’s pretty, but I’ve seen prettier girls waitressing at the bar here in town. I also can’t figure out why we care that she’s shopping in LA. Is she really still famous? Well, regardless, she does look pretty cute. I like celebrities dressed in their every day clothes doing every day things. It’s nice to be reminded that, like us, celebrities are just normal people. Maybe I’m being too hard on Kristin. She has a pretty nice ass. There’s just something about her that screams average. She does look good in a bikini though. Maybe I’d have a more favorable post to write is she was showing more skin.

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