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Regardless of the result after all of the votes have been tallied, a lot of people are going to be upset by the time this post is published tomorrow afternoon. As I write this, votes in the US Presidential election are still being cast and if things are as close as they appear to be right now, it’s going to be a while before the results are known. There may not be a winner by the time this post rolls around in the schedule but that’s sure to have a few people in the dumps as well. If there is a clear winner by tomorrow afternoon and that winner is Obama, Romney supporters will be upset. If there is a clear winner by tomorrow afternoon and that winner is Romney, Obama supporters will be upset. If there is no clear winner by tomorrow afternoon, everyone is going to be upset. So how can we at HQ-Celebrity help out? By offering you a set of bikini pics staring a gorgeous, soaking wet Joanna Krupa. Look on the bright side, friends. At least the campaigning is over now and out Facebook time lines, televisions and pretty much everything else can return to normal. Won’t that be nice?

 

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I will forgo the attempts at a haiku this time and instead, will focus on a more abstract kind of poem. I don’t kknow much about this sort of thing but I promise, it will be just as bad as my Nicole Trunfio haiku. This bad poem of course focuses on Kim Kardashian’s ass thanks to these photos of the curvy babe that were snapped in Miami. I hope you all enjoy it.

Roses are red,

Violets smell awesome.

Is that Kim K’s ass,

Or is she smuggling a possum?

That thing is so big,

It gets all the boys going.

Kim looks fantastic

With all the trunk junk she’s towing.

One more verse for Kim’s ass,

This is taking forever.

My poem sucks but the point,

Is Kim’s ass is a treasure.

Wow. I don’t even want to admit how long that took me to write. You can all thank commenter Dweeb Malloy for my repeat performance. I am to please … or disappoint. Seriously though – enjoy these great close ups of Kim Kardashian’s behind. The lady sure knows how to rock a pair of stretch pants.

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I have a sort of hot and cold relationship with Sara Jean Underwood. Sometimes I love her and something I’m just sort of in like with her. This is one of the instances when I’m in love. These pictures are fabulous. Her body is incredible and I love the wardrobe choices that have been made here. Underwear pics are great but I actually think I prefer the jeans/tank top pics further down. I’ve seen Sara in her underwear (and less) numerous times. Of course, I’ve also seen her in jeans but there’s just something about these particular photos that makes me feel happy. I think Sara is a beautiful young woman and I can’t wait for the next set of photos of her to show up on my assignment list.

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Again, slutty costumes and Halloween go hand in hand. Halloween is the one time a year when ‘slutty’ isn’t an insult and I mean that with complete sincerity. I dressed up as one of Dexter Morgan’s victims for Halloween a few years back and was the first to admit that was a slutty costume (saran wrap over a bikini and nothing else but a red mark on my cheek) so don’t misunderstand me. When I refer to Jenny McCarthy’s slutty Halloween costume, it’s not a shot at her. It’s just a fact. She’s wearing lingerie and little else. Slutty. Also, entirely acceptable on Halloween. I love these photos of Jenny in Vegas and I love her costume. While I think the slutty cat thing is a bit overdone, there are some women who can pull it off and Jenny is definitely one of those women. The leopard print lingerie was a great touch.

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The other day, I wrote an article about the sexiest celebrity Playboy pictorials of all time for another website I work for. Naturally, Pamela Anderson was included in the article. As I was browsing through Pam’s pictorials, I stumbled upon her pictorial from 1992 and realized for the first time that Pam has been doing the whole sex pot thing since I was less than 10 years old. That’s a pretty long time because I’m pretty old. This made me think about how old Pam is getting now and that makes these photos even more spectacular to me. She still looks fabulous. Sure she may need a bit more makeup to and there’s a little bit more sand in her hourglass but she looks damn good all things considered. I’m quite certain she’s more plastic than flesh at this point but I don’t really care. She looks like she’s happy with how she looks so what else really matters?

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I have been very, very clear about my feelings for Nicole Trunfio. She’s gorgeous. I love her. That’s pretty much it. For that reason, new pictures of her are always both exciting and frustrating because I love to look at them but hate to write about them. I don’t know how many different ways I can say I love the girl without sounding boring and repetitive. Perhaps I’ll give poetry a try. I present to you, “Nicole Trunfio: A Haiku”

“Nicole Trunfio,
As hot as the blazing sun.
Ow my eyes! They burn!

Beautiful goddess,
Oh stunning creature I fear
Your beauty slays me.”

Thank you. Thank you. Nicole Trunfio – inspiring bad poetry with her booty since 2002.

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