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I will forgo the attempts at a haiku this time and instead, will focus on a more abstract kind of poem. I don’t kknow much about this sort of thing but I promise, it will be just as bad as my Nicole Trunfio haiku. This bad poem of course focuses on Kim Kardashian’s ass thanks to these photos of the curvy babe that were snapped in Miami. I hope you all enjoy it.

Roses are red,

Violets smell awesome.

Is that Kim K’s ass,

Or is she smuggling a possum?

That thing is so big,

It gets all the boys going.

Kim looks fantastic

With all the trunk junk she’s towing.

One more verse for Kim’s ass,

This is taking forever.

My poem sucks but the point,

Is Kim’s ass is a treasure.

Wow. I don’t even want to admit how long that took me to write. You can all thank commenter Dweeb Malloy for my repeat performance. I am to please … or disappoint. Seriously though – enjoy these great close ups of Kim Kardashian’s behind. The lady sure knows how to rock a pair of stretch pants.

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You may remember Nell McAndrew from her stint as the model for Lara Croft in the Tomb Raider games or from the Playboy pictorial that lost her the job, but I honestly wasn’t all that familiar with her until recently. I have to admit, I’m not entirely sure what’s going on in this photo shoot but I like it all the same. It seems like the costume and prop would’ve worked better in an indoor setting but hey, Nell looks fantastic. What else really matters? I’ve always like the showgirl look. The big headpieces and the glamorous costumes are just so much fun. Good to see Nell still out there doing her thing. I hope we get even more pictures of her in the future.

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I said it last time but I’ll say it again. I like Rumer Willis a little more each time I see her. I think these pictures, snapped in Maui, are fantastic. Rumer has a great body and while I still feel there’s something a little masculine about her jawline, it seems less severe than it used to. Perhaps she just needed to grow into her looks. I really feel like she’s getting more attractive with age. She’s certainly getting more self confident and self assured and I can’t fault her for that. I like the way Rumer carries herself. She doesn’t seem desperate for attention like many other celebs her age and I appreciate that as well. Perhaps that’s because she’s never exactly been hurting for attention. My only question is whether or not she’ll ever be able to fully get out of her parents’ shadow. I think she has the talent to do it. Now it’s just a matter of taking on the right film roles and figuring out where she fits in in the Hollywood landscape.

 

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The other day, I wrote an article about the sexiest celebrity Playboy pictorials of all time for another website I work for. Naturally, Pamela Anderson was included in the article. As I was browsing through Pam’s pictorials, I stumbled upon her pictorial from 1992 and realized for the first time that Pam has been doing the whole sex pot thing since I was less than 10 years old. That’s a pretty long time because I’m pretty old. This made me think about how old Pam is getting now and that makes these photos even more spectacular to me. She still looks fabulous. Sure she may need a bit more makeup to and there’s a little bit more sand in her hourglass but she looks damn good all things considered. I’m quite certain she’s more plastic than flesh at this point but I don’t really care. She looks like she’s happy with how she looks so what else really matters?

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I have been very, very clear about my feelings for Nicole Trunfio. She’s gorgeous. I love her. That’s pretty much it. For that reason, new pictures of her are always both exciting and frustrating because I love to look at them but hate to write about them. I don’t know how many different ways I can say I love the girl without sounding boring and repetitive. Perhaps I’ll give poetry a try. I present to you, “Nicole Trunfio: A Haiku”

“Nicole Trunfio,
As hot as the blazing sun.
Ow my eyes! They burn!

Beautiful goddess,
Oh stunning creature I fear
Your beauty slays me.”

Thank you. Thank you. Nicole Trunfio – inspiring bad poetry with her booty since 2002.

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I have never made my love for Kelly Brook a secret. I think this lady is fantastic. These pictures of Kelly in “Forever Crazy” in London just drive my point home. She’s sexy but she clearly doesn’t take herself so seriously she can’t have a little fun. This looks like such a fun, entertaining show. I like the fact that despite near constant criticism of her body type, Kelly isn’t afraid to get up on the stage wearing a skimpy costume. That confidence and that courage is a big part of what makes Kelly so attractive to me. Of course the fact that she’s smoking hot doesn’t hurt in the least.

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