Search Results for “V”

Is it sad that until right now – right this very second – I had no idea who Tamara Mellon was? You don’t either? Alright, I feel better. Tamara Mellon is the co-founder of Jimmy Choo; the luxury shoe, handbag and accessory powerhouse brand. Can I just point out that it’s more than a little bit ironic that Tamara’s last name is Mellon and she hit the beach in a bikini that shows off, well, her melons? They’re not spectacular, but they’re certainly not bad. I just couldn’t resist making the most lame and obvious pun possible. It’s kind of my thing.

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I like boobs as much as the next mostly straight but a little curious girl, but there’s something a little underwhelming about Paris Hilton’s fun bags. Maybe it’s the fact that if she isn’t showing off the v she’s showing off the t. It’s a little hard to get excited about seeing something you’ve seen a million times. I mean, at this point, I’ve seen Paris Hilton’s boobs almost as much as I’ve seen my own. All the same, Paris looks pretty hot as she presents Supermatxe Motorcycle Team at Hotel ME, Madrid – hotter than she’s looked in a long time. The question that begs to be asked, though, is does anyone actually care about this babe anymore? Isn’t she a little last year (or two years ago, for that matter)? I guess all that really matters is that Paris is willing to pose like a stripper every chance she gets so she can try to stay relevant. That’s really her ace in the whole, but seriously – has anyone else seen ‘Repo! A Genetic Opera’ and felt a little sad that Paris made herself such a joke that no one cared she was actually pretty good in that movie?

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Ya know, everyone said Megan Fox was done in Hollywood when she got booted from Transformers 3 for being a dummy with no off button on her mouth and when Jennifer’s Body did a nose dive at the box office but… well, I’m not really sure where I’m going with this. I’m inclined to agree. That’s what happens when you bite the hand that feeds you and judging by these pictures of Megan in Hawaii, that’s about all Megan’s been biting into. Even so, the lady still knows how to rock a bikini so she’s got that going for her. Maybe she’ll have a huge comeback, win an Oscar and shock us all. Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow morning with a million dollars on my doorstep and an unlimited supply of chicken McNuggets. I love those things. Probably why I don’t look as good in a bikini as Megan.

Get it? Because her band is called The Pretty Reckless. Yeah, lame, I know. Anyway, moving on. I don’t really know what I think of Taylor Momsen anymore. It seems like every move she makes is premeditated to make her look as bad ass as possible, but the more out there she gets, the more innocent I believe she is. Sure flashing her underage breasts on stage at one of her most recent gigs turned some heads. I, on the other hand, just rolled my eyes and yawned a little. It’s old news. This is what we know about Momsen. She has no problem talking about masturbation and her love for her vibrator. She blames her parents for her behavior because they pushed her into acting. I happen to think that’s probably the truest statement that’s ever come out of her mouth. That said, Taylor – performing here at The Academy in Manchester – is no more of a wild child that her pop culture counterpart, Miley Cyrus. The difference is Taylor wants you to think she’s as bad ass as Miley probably is. She isn’t though. She’s a little girl trying to play ball with the big kids – and she’s striking out. She comes across as a sad girl desperate for attention and I’m guessing that’s really closer to the truth.

There really isn’t anything shy about Alesha Dixon, is there? While at first glance, she might seem to be dressed a little more conservatively than usual here in Miami, closer inspection shows us that it’s an illusion. Note the short shorts that display her toned legs and the cut out bathing suit that shows off her sides. Sure her belly button is covered and her boobs are covered by more fabric than usual, but the cleavage – which is really wasn’t important, isn’t it? – is still clearly visible. Celebs of the world should take note. This look Ms. Dixon is sporting is all about the power of mystery. Leaving something to the imagination can be far sexier than barely covering your body in a bikini that could pass for dental floss. Love this girl and look the look.

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I have long hated Gwyneth Paltrow. Everything about his is pretentious. You can almost imagine the size of the rod that must be up her ass for her to be so incredibly uptight. Then ‘Glee’ happened. What the hell was that? She was… funny. She was… lighthearted. That isn’t the Gwyn I know and hate. I actually kind of liked her. Does that mean I have to rethink my whole position on Paltrow and admit that maybe I was wrong. Why yes. Yes it does. I would like to take a moment to publicly apologize to Gwyneth Paltrow for mindlessly hating her based only on her creation of the ridiculously snobby Goop. (Still hate Goop, Gwyn. Sorry.) Keep us laughing. And while you’re at it, keep showin’ off that hot body of yours in dress like the one you wore to the premiere of Country Strong. Love the tie accents on the dress. It shows a lot of skin but somehow doesn’t look trashy. Classy. We’re cool now, Gwyn but really – we gotta talk about Goop. Call me.

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