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Oh… oh my. Oh dear. I was told, as most of us were, that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Unfortunately, it’s my job to say things and finding nice things to say about these pictures isn’t going to be easy. Um, okay – that’s one cute puppy! It looks happy and very well taken care of. And hey, in some of these pictures, your face doesn’t look quite as much like you used to be, or are currently, a man. You seem to be having fun and that’s pretty great. Uh, just a suggestion though – maybe it’s time to invest in some sunblock or spend less time soaking up the rays. That stuff’s awfully hard on your skin but, from the looks of it, maybe the damage has already been done.

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Things have been a little quiet for Joss Stone lately, haven’t they? I remember when this girl first hit the music scene with her horrible cover of an awesome song (Fell In Love With a Girl by The White Stipes) but then followed it up with a pretty awesome song of her own. Then I didn’t hear about her again. Looking at her now, though, all grown up and sexy in Hawaii, I am reminded of my first thought when I saw her back in the day – she’s hot. While her career may have seen better days, her body sure hasn’t. I still love her voice, don’t get me wrong. She’s a talented lady. It’s also nice to see she doesn’t flaunt that hot body of hers every chance she gets just to sell records like some of her more successful peers even though she clearly has the goods to compete. While she might not be topping the charts, I think she has the chance at a long lasting career in the music industry.

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These are the pictures the world has been waiting to see. Sure they’re a bit sleazy and perhaps not the most moral, but who cares? Gisele Bundchen is getting changed and in the backseat of a car and someone was smart enough to take pictures. Is it for a movie? Is it for some sort of weird ad campaign? I have no idea, honestly. I was going to research it but then I realized anyone looking at these pictures is only going to care about one thing – Gisele is half naked and she looks incredible. Does anything else need to be said here? No? I didn’t think so.

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Dakota Fanning may not be the most beautiful girl in Hollywood, but she is without question one of the most talented. A lot of press types would say she’s a great actress for her age but looking over the Hollywood landscape and what if offers in terms of female talent, I’d be hard pressed to find an actress of any age with the talent this girl has. If you need proof, check her out in ‘The Secret Life of Bees’ or ‘Hounddog’. She’s brilliant and honestly, not to hard on the eyes either. Here leaving a gym in LA, Dakota looks like her usual thin self, but what I love about her is that although she looks a little too skinny, it isn’t hard to believe that she’s just naturally slim. I don’t think she has any of the typical eating disorders or drug habits most stick thin celebs have which makes her even more appealing. I love this girl. I can say almost with complete certainty that there’s a little gold man named Oscar in her future.

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I don’t care what anyone says. I think Lindsay Lohan is finally waking up and seeing her life for what it is – full of drama and trouble; much of which she brought on herself. She owned up to her mistake (at least this last time around) and I think she’s taking rehab seriously. So what if she took a little trip to do some shopping? A lot of patients at Betty Ford do the same thing. Most of them aren’t tailed by the press when they do it though. Here in Palm Springs, Lindsay looks tired and worn out – not exactly how she usually looks when she’s out spending her money. Sure she still looks thin but aside from the cigarette between her fingers, she’s looking a lot healthier. I wish her nothing but the best and I hope we see a new, healthy and responsible Lohan to 2011.

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Hey everybody look! We can see what we’ve already seen a million times but this time covered (if you can call that covered) by a thin layer of material. Who cares anymore? I demand to know. Is this still shocking? Is this still news? Paris Hilton has an ass and she appears to be quite proud of it. I can’t entirely understand why, though. It’s not really all that spectacular. It’s clear Paris wants to get her name in the headlines again so she’s flashing her rear. And it worked. I’m writing about it right now. And it will continue to work. I just hope she gets over this little habit before she’s old and grey. No one wants to see that. Well, I suppose some people do. There’s a market for everything out there these days.

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