Search Results for “open mouth”

April 4, 2008
3 Comments

Kate Moss Offers Mouth Watering Pokies

Kate Moss accompanied a brood of children to Zuma Beach in Malibu. She thought that these kiddies were too young to understand the sight of pokies. Or perhaps they were too well mannered to mention them even if they do see them. I’m sure she set a good example for them by being comfortable and confident about her body. I hope they won’t grow to expect to see pokies on all their caregivers. For the guys, I’ll say those were pretty sharp, mouth watering pokies!

Kate Moss out with kids

April 30, 2014
1 Comment

Kendall Jenner Is A Model Or Something

A few hours ago, I wrote a post about Selena Gomez in which I discussed my complete lack of interest in her. Most of the same things can be said for Kendall Jenner, well, minus the “not as crazy as her boyfriend” part. I don’t know who Kendall’s boyfriend is. I don’t care. I’m sure he’s young rich and gorgeous. I’m also sure he’d make me want to slap him without even opening his mouth. Here’s the thing about Kendall though. I want to like her. The superficial, shallow side of me actually does even. She’s a beautiful girl but I find all her drama exhausting. It’s not her fault. It’s got to be a family thing. Just look at her sisters Kim and Khloe. This absurd “girl fight” between Kendall, her sister (that other Jenner Kid) and Selena Gomez is so high school drama it should have it’s own show on the CW. Who am I kidding though? I’d totally watch that and hate myself more and more with every episode.

March 16, 2013
5 Comments

So I Had This Dream About Adriana Lima …

A few nights ago, I woke up in the middle of the night after what I like to call “the hamburger dream”. When I was little, my mother didn’t have a lot of money and that sometimes meant we had to go without food. I’d go to bed after not eating all day and I’d dream of a big, fat hamburger sitting on a plate right in front of me. I’d open my mouth to take a bite and wake up just before I could sink my teeth in. I’d look around confused, wondering where my hamburger went only to have the crushing realization that my subconscious was a jerk and had played a cruel joke on me. Now that I’m older, well, okay – I write online for a living. That often means I don’t have food because this isn’t a job you do if you’re looking to get rich – or pay the bills, for that matter. Anyway, I still have the hamburger dream on occasion (although now it’s usually a Tim Horton’s Chicken Wrap or chicken nuggets) and it’s still just as disappointing to wake up and find I’m trying to eat my pillow. What does all this have to do with these photos of Adriana Lima in Los Angeles? Well let me tell you. The other night, I had the hamburger dream, as I mentioned. This time though, I wasn’t alone in my dream. I was on a beach relaxing in a beach chair when Adriana Lima came over to me. She said she’d seen a post I wrote about her and wanted to buy me dinner. I wasn’t going to turn that offer down so I got up and suddenly we were in our bikinis in some fancy beach restaurant. Everyone else was in full black tie garb and I felt self conscious. Adriana told me it was okay because we were just a little early for bikini time. Suddenly I looked around and everyone had changed into bikinis – including the men, which was weird. Anyway, we laughed for a bit and Adriana asked what I wanted to eat. I, for some reason, suddenly felt panic because I was with Adriana and although I was starving, I didn’t want to eat more than she was eating. Then for some reason, we were in the kitchen of the restaurant and all of the food was in front of us. Adriana started eating everything in sight and I was just about to take a bit of a chicken nugget when I woke up. It was like the disappointment of a hamburger dream multiplied by a number I can’t even calculate but I couldn’t really feel the full weight of that disappointment. I was too busy trying to wrap my head around what was by far the weirdest dream I ever had – and I once had a dream my ex-boyfriend turned into a bucket of chicken my family wanted to eat. Yes. These are the things I dream about. A shrink would have a field day with me!

August 29, 2012
10 Comments

Danielle Lloyd Really Bugs Me.

First things first. Danielle Lloyd is hot. She has a great body and she looks great in a bikini. With all that said, I just can’t get past the ugliness in her heart. This is a woman that is just filled with hatred and I have no time for people like that. In these pictures (taken poolside in Marbella), I can see that Danielle looks as hot as ever but I can’t get past those comments from a few years back when she was on “Celebrity Big Brother”. Bullying is just unacceptable but when someone in her position – a public figure who some very misguided people may look up to – to bullies a fellow contestant in such an ignorant, racist and obvious way, it’s especially troubling. Beyond that, she made herself look like a complete airhead. Want to talk stereotypes? Beauty queens are ignorant, moronic bimbos who have nothing in their heads but hot air and hairspray. Is that true of all beauty queens? Not at all but every time this woman opens her mouth, she just reinforces that stereotype with her catty and astoundingly stupid remarks. And now I’m in a bad mood again. Thanks Danielle.

November 3, 2011
1 Comment

Sophie Turner Is A Knockout For Halloween

I think it’s finally happened. I’ve been rendered speechless. Luckily (for me anyway), I can still type even while my mouth hangs open and drool puddles below my chin. Sophie Turner is so freaking hot. So hot. I don’t think there are enough words in the English language to adequately describe how hot she is. Stunning. Smoking. On fire. Sizzling. Steaming. Heart-stoppingly, mind-numbingly, eye-burningly smoking freaking hot. Exquisite. And then, because her simply being indescribably hot isn’t enough, she wears this costume for Halloween. That’s it. She’s trying to kill us all. This woman is dangerous. Those eyes and that ass are the only weapons she needs. I mean, I have all the same parts she has, but they don’t look right anymore. Ugh. I’m done. I need to look away while I still feel like I’m at least part of the same species.

June 23, 2011
Comments Off on Gorgeous Megan Fox Is Still In Hawaii

Gorgeous Megan Fox Is Still In Hawaii

I’m not sure what to say about Megan Fox anymore. What can be said about this woman that hasn’t already been said? Remember a year or so ago when everyone was talking about her. It seemed she couldn’t open her mouth without making headlines. Then Megan got married to also gorgeous Brian Austin Green and sort of disappeared for a while. Sure she’s been in a movie or two, but they’ve mostly been flops, leading many people in Hollywood to wonder if her career is already over. There was a time when I was one of those people, but it seems that Megan might have a chance after all. While no press is bad, too much press can make people sick of you. Megan seems to understand that and backed out of the spotlight for a while before resurfacing in Hawaii and reminding everyone why she was such a big deal in the first place – she’s gorgeous.

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