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Oh Vanessa Hudgens – nothing says, “I’m totally over what’s his name” immediately following a breakup than hitting the town in a dress that shows off pretty much your entire body. I guess it’s not like she’s showing anything we haven’t seen before. Remember those naked pictures that ‘leaked’ a while back? Me too. Regardless, here’s Vanessa at her 22nd Birthday Party in Las Vegas just after it was announced she had split from her longtime boyfriend Zac Effron. Rumors have been running rampant for a while now that Nessa was simply Zac’s beard (girl that pretends to be a gay guy’s girlfriend to help him stay in the closet, for those that aren’t up on the term) and felt a breakup was eminent. Is it true? Well, Zac is almost too pretty to be straight and Vanessa seems way too trashy to be monogamous for that long, but in Hollywood, who knows?

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Ya know, everyone said Megan Fox was done in Hollywood when she got booted from Transformers 3 for being a dummy with no off button on her mouth and when Jennifer’s Body did a nose dive at the box office but… well, I’m not really sure where I’m going with this. I’m inclined to agree. That’s what happens when you bite the hand that feeds you and judging by these pictures of Megan in Hawaii, that’s about all Megan’s been biting into. Even so, the lady still knows how to rock a bikini so she’s got that going for her. Maybe she’ll have a huge comeback, win an Oscar and shock us all. Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow morning with a million dollars on my doorstep and an unlimited supply of chicken McNuggets. I love those things. Probably why I don’t look as good in a bikini as Megan.

Get it? Because her band is called The Pretty Reckless. Yeah, lame, I know. Anyway, moving on. I don’t really know what I think of Taylor Momsen anymore. It seems like every move she makes is premeditated to make her look as bad ass as possible, but the more out there she gets, the more innocent I believe she is. Sure flashing her underage breasts on stage at one of her most recent gigs turned some heads. I, on the other hand, just rolled my eyes and yawned a little. It’s old news. This is what we know about Momsen. She has no problem talking about masturbation and her love for her vibrator. She blames her parents for her behavior because they pushed her into acting. I happen to think that’s probably the truest statement that’s ever come out of her mouth. That said, Taylor – performing here at The Academy in Manchester – is no more of a wild child that her pop culture counterpart, Miley Cyrus. The difference is Taylor wants you to think she’s as bad ass as Miley probably is. She isn’t though. She’s a little girl trying to play ball with the big kids – and she’s striking out. She comes across as a sad girl desperate for attention and I’m guessing that’s really closer to the truth.

There really isn’t anything shy about Alesha Dixon, is there? While at first glance, she might seem to be dressed a little more conservatively than usual here in Miami, closer inspection shows us that it’s an illusion. Note the short shorts that display her toned legs and the cut out bathing suit that shows off her sides. Sure her belly button is covered and her boobs are covered by more fabric than usual, but the cleavage – which is really wasn’t important, isn’t it? – is still clearly visible. Celebs of the world should take note. This look Ms. Dixon is sporting is all about the power of mystery. Leaving something to the imagination can be far sexier than barely covering your body in a bikini that could pass for dental floss. Love this girl and look the look.

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Attention all celebrities – this is an important message from the writers here at HQ-Celebrity. Stop taking you freakin’ clothes off, taking pictures of yourself with your clothes off and expecting them not to hit the damn internet. They will hit the internet. It’s just the law of reason, folks. And hey, since we all know you’re not going to learn from the mistakes of those who have gone before you, can you please do us all a favor and stop whining about the leaks when they happen. You should know better. Christina Aguilera is the latest victim of the stupidity bug that seems to render hot female celebs completely incapable of making smart decisions. There private photos never stay private. Of course, one has to think that in this case, that’s what was expected. I mean, it’s Christina Aguilera. Being hot and half naked boosted her career before. The main difference between then and now is back then she was super hot and people actually cared about seeing her naked. Now it’s all old news. The girl still looks hot though and her voice is still one of the best in the business. What she needs to do now is stop focusing on slutting it up and start focusing on making music people actually want to listen to. Put your clothes on and hit the studio, lady.

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I have long hated Gwyneth Paltrow. Everything about his is pretentious. You can almost imagine the size of the rod that must be up her ass for her to be so incredibly uptight. Then ‘Glee’ happened. What the hell was that? She was… funny. She was… lighthearted. That isn’t the Gwyn I know and hate. I actually kind of liked her. Does that mean I have to rethink my whole position on Paltrow and admit that maybe I was wrong. Why yes. Yes it does. I would like to take a moment to publicly apologize to Gwyneth Paltrow for mindlessly hating her based only on her creation of the ridiculously snobby Goop. (Still hate Goop, Gwyn. Sorry.) Keep us laughing. And while you’re at it, keep showin’ off that hot body of yours in dress like the one you wore to the premiere of Country Strong. Love the tie accents on the dress. It shows a lot of skin but somehow doesn’t look trashy. Classy. We’re cool now, Gwyn but really – we gotta talk about Goop. Call me.

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