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I have always liked Maria Menounos. She has a fun, entertaining personality that makes her perfect for TV and it doesn’t hurt at all that she’s an absolute stunner. I haven’t watched Access Hollywood in ages because, well, who needs to when they have the internet, but when I still watched every night, Maria was my favorite part. With her ventures into acting on both the big and small screens, she has proven that she’s more than just a pretty face and a nice body. Well, okay, maybe she hasn’t, but I guess that really doesn’t matter. I mean, hey! Look! Maria Menounos in a bikini! Sweet.

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It’s bound to happen sometimes. I’m given women to write about who I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen before. Call it a cultural divide because apparently Charlotte Mears and Bianca Gascoigne are quite popular in the UK. I couldn’t find a whole lot of information about them in my usual sources aside from the fact that they’re both apparently reality TV personalities. Since I don’t really know anything about them, let’s just talk about the pictures. They’re in Spain doing what appears to be a bikini photo shoot. I will never, ever argue with hot chicks in bikinis on ATV’s. An art form that is underrated to be sure. I’ll keep an eye out for these beauties in the future. I’m sure they’re quite talented at whatever it is they do.

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Is it sad that until right now – right this very second – I had no idea who Tamara Mellon was? You don’t either? Alright, I feel better. Tamara Mellon is the co-founder of Jimmy Choo; the luxury shoe, handbag and accessory powerhouse brand. Can I just point out that it’s more than a little bit ironic that Tamara’s last name is Mellon and she hit the beach in a bikini that shows off, well, her melons? They’re not spectacular, but they’re certainly not bad. I just couldn’t resist making the most lame and obvious pun possible. It’s kind of my thing.

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Ya know, everyone said Megan Fox was done in Hollywood when she got booted from Transformers 3 for being a dummy with no off button on her mouth and when Jennifer’s Body did a nose dive at the box office but… well, I’m not really sure where I’m going with this. I’m inclined to agree. That’s what happens when you bite the hand that feeds you and judging by these pictures of Megan in Hawaii, that’s about all Megan’s been biting into. Even so, the lady still knows how to rock a bikini so she’s got that going for her. Maybe she’ll have a huge comeback, win an Oscar and shock us all. Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow morning with a million dollars on my doorstep and an unlimited supply of chicken McNuggets. I love those things. Probably why I don’t look as good in a bikini as Megan.

I have long hated Gwyneth Paltrow. Everything about his is pretentious. You can almost imagine the size of the rod that must be up her ass for her to be so incredibly uptight. Then ‘Glee’ happened. What the hell was that? She was… funny. She was… lighthearted. That isn’t the Gwyn I know and hate. I actually kind of liked her. Does that mean I have to rethink my whole position on Paltrow and admit that maybe I was wrong. Why yes. Yes it does. I would like to take a moment to publicly apologize to Gwyneth Paltrow for mindlessly hating her based only on her creation of the ridiculously snobby Goop. (Still hate Goop, Gwyn. Sorry.) Keep us laughing. And while you’re at it, keep showin’ off that hot body of yours in dress like the one you wore to the premiere of Country Strong. Love the tie accents on the dress. It shows a lot of skin but somehow doesn’t look trashy. Classy. We’re cool now, Gwyn but really – we gotta talk about Goop. Call me.

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Say what you want about Katy Perry but she sure knows how to make people talk about her. Hitting the stage at the Y100 Jingle Ball 2010 at BankAtlantic Center, Katy dresses up like some sort of sexy Mrs. Claus, but I can’t help but think someone in the wardrobe department got fired for forgetting to finish Katy’s skirt. At least Katy was wearing festive panties to go with the outfit. Would’ve been pretty embarrassing if she decided to wear her Grannie panties. Just kidding, of course. I sincerely doubt Katy owns Grannie panties. In all honesty, I’m not really feeling the whole half skirt look. I guess she wasn’t showing off her upstairs enough so she had to put the downstairs on display. That’s just the way she rolls, after all. She still looks hot, but I think she would’ve looked hotter if she decided to cover her panties.