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If I were to make a list of women I’m pretty sure could blind men with their hotness, I’m sure I would rank Irina Sheik pretty close to the top of that list. Seriously. This woman is unbelievable. Her eyes. Her hair. Her lips. Then, of course, there’s that incredible body. A lot of women can’t pull of the thigh high stockings with garter belt thing without looking sleazy, but this is not an average woman. Whether in black lingerie, white lingerie, pink lingerie or blue lingerie, one thing remains the same – this woman should never wear clothes. If I looked half that good, I never would. I’d grocery shop in my bra and panties and not care who gave me dirty looks. Well, I probably wouldn’t, but that doesn’t mean Irina shouldn’t. Well, okay, she probably shouldn’t either. Old men would be dropping like flies. Mothers would be covering their children’s eye. Married men would be pummeled with purses. Single men would be fighting each other in the isles. It would be chaos!

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And she went to the beach too. Anyway, here are some pictures of none other than Paris Hilton and her robber busting boyfriend Cy Waits as they frolic around in the waves on Maui beach. The couple are spent a romantic Christmas in Hawaii with Paris’ parents Kathy and Rick, her sister Nicky and Nicky’s boyfriend David Katzenberg. Sounds like a big, happy family reunion, but every time I imagine Christmas dinner, I can’t help but wonder if Kathy and Rick every find themselves staring at Paris wondering what went wrong. Does Godzilla have parents? If it does, I’m sure Godzilla’s parents feel the same way. “What have we created? Forgive us unleashing this terrible beast on the world!” Nah, I’m just playin’. Paris looks pretty hot. I’m sure people still care about her. Somewhere. Sometimes.

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Now, J-Love, I will admit, you and I have had our problems. I haven’t always been your biggest fan when it comes to your fashion choices but I am fully behind this one. A grass skirt and a white bikini top? I can’t see much wrong with that. These pictures from Maui show the fun, playful side I love so much about you – that Jennifer Love Hewitt charm I fell in love with back when ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer’ was in theaters and the whole weight was still way off in the distant future. What I love most about you, though, is that you don’t have the perfect body and you genuinely don’t seem to care. Most women in Hollywood would starve themselves to look stick thin if they were planning to leave the house wearing so little but you, on the other hand, look healthy. You don’t look chubby or chunky. You look like you don’t scream and run when confronted with food. That’s pretty sexy in and of itself.

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I freaking love Chloe Sevigny. I really do. This chick can do no wrong in my eyes. Recently it seems that she’s in the news more for talking about the infamous non-simulated BJ scene in ‘The Brown Bunny’ but that was years ago. Come on, people. Get over it. I think I’m one of the only people in the world that actually loved that movie and the fact that she was fearless enough to do it, but it’s time to move on. Here in Miami, Chloe proves that underneath her often weird and wonderful fashion choices there is a heck of a hot body. The great think about her is that she isn’t afraid to show it off and be sexy. At the same time, that isn’t what her career is based on. I’m sad to see Big Love ending but mostly because I’m going to miss a constant dose of Chloe.

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Caprice Bourret, or just Caprice if you prefer, is often known as one of the UK’s most famous models and looking at these pictures in Saint Barthelemy, it isn’t hard to tell why. She’s a gorgeous woman – long legs, a tight, toned stomach, nice boobs and a butt to match. She’s the total package. I’ll be honest, she isn’t my favorite model, but she is a lot of fun to look at. I know some people are going to be screaming cellulite over some of these pictures, but who cares? In the grand scheme of things – looking at the big picture – does a little bit of cellulite really matter. It’s barely noticeable. And hey, we get to see a picture of her apparently picking a wedgie. That’s always a nice shot to get.

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I like boobs as much as the next mostly straight but a little curious girl, but there’s something a little underwhelming about Paris Hilton’s fun bags. Maybe it’s the fact that if she isn’t showing off the v she’s showing off the t. It’s a little hard to get excited about seeing something you’ve seen a million times. I mean, at this point, I’ve seen Paris Hilton’s boobs almost as much as I’ve seen my own. All the same, Paris looks pretty hot as she presents Supermatxe Motorcycle Team at Hotel ME, Madrid – hotter than she’s looked in a long time. The question that begs to be asked, though, is does anyone actually care about this babe anymore? Isn’t she a little last year (or two years ago, for that matter)? I guess all that really matters is that Paris is willing to pose like a stripper every chance she gets so she can try to stay relevant. That’s really her ace in the whole, but seriously – has anyone else seen ‘Repo! A Genetic Opera’ and felt a little sad that Paris made herself such a joke that no one cared she was actually pretty good in that movie?

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