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I normally don’t like Vanessa Hudgens, but I have to admit she looks pretty darn adorable in these pictures. Pool toys? Candy? A cute little pout? I like it. The fact that she’s in a bikini scores her some points as well, but these pictures are really all about the innocent side of Vanessa. Sure she looks sexy as hell, but that’s pretty typical of Vanessa. I’m actually really looking forward to seeing where her career takes her. I’d like to vote for Vanessa as the Disney star most likely to appear in Playboy. I’d buy that magazine. Sure the naked pictures are online, but I’d like to see some high quality, tasteful Playboy style stuff. Cell phone nudes are so over.

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Isabeli Fontana is a super sexy Brazilian model known almost as much for her rather tumultuous personal life as her work as a model. Sure she stirred up controversy with her appearance in Victoria’s Secret magazine at the tender age of sixteen, but it’s her twice married status that really gets the attention. Isabeli is only twenty-seven and has been married not once, but twice and is currently separated from the second husband. Here in Rio, though, she doesn’t seem to be letting it get her down and who can blame her. She’s clearly having fun and putting the past behind her. With two children to look after, that’s probably the best thing for everyone. I love a woman who can keep her head up in the face of adversity and who can look that smoking hot in a bikini after birthing two children. Love this girl.

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People like to find one flaw on a gorgeous celebrity and run wild with it. Is it jealousy? I can’t speak for the rest of the world but for me, yeah, it totally is. I want to be gorgeous and rich although the famous part just seems like a pain in the ass. Megan Fox has a weird thumb. Nicole Kidman has her frozen forehead. Paris Hilton has… well, Paris has a lot of things. Her weird jaw, her pointy nose. There’s a lot to choose from. What I can’t get passed though is those clown feet of hers. The rest of her looks pretty hot in these pictures, but I can’t take my eyes off her feet. Of course when she opens her mouth, you can add her vapid personality to the list but in pictures, it’s always the feet for me. I take solace knowing that in a world where Paris is better than me in just about every way imaginable, I at least have normal lady-sized feet.

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I was never a Dancing With the Stars fan and only started watching last season because Brandy was there and I love that girl. Perhaps I picked a bad season to start watching. I loved Audrina Patridge. Granted, I didn’t care much for her before the show, but I thought she was really trying and was a pretty good dancer. Then, as quick as she appeared, she was gone. I was upset. Luckily, the shockingly early dismissal doesn’t seem to have gotten her down for long. Audrina bounced back and now has another reality show. I can’t help but wonder, though – does this girl even remember what it’s like not to have cameras following her all the time. It’s like she’s living a reality show existence, bouncing from one televised event to the next. Hey, keeps her name out there though, so I guess its not such a bad deal after all. Maybe I should have my own reality show too. It can follow me through my day as I write snarky captions about celebrities and feed my cat. Yeah. Maybe I shouldn’t have my own show.

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It’s been an up and down stay in the lime light for Danielle Lloyd, hasn’t it? Sure, she’s racked up an impressive list of wins on celebrity game shows – The Weakest Link, Total Wipeout and Come Dine With Me – and raised a lot of money for charity, but she also has courted quite a bit of controversy. The controversy I refer to, of course, if her somewhat scandalous stay in the Big Brother house where she was accused of bullying and racism. I say if the victim of said bullying and racist remarks stands up for her, the rest of us should let it go too. Racism is wrong. Anyone with even a bit of intelligence knows this, but the editing on these shows doesn’t always show the real story. What matters is that in these pictures from Tenerife, Danielle looks pretty hot. When scandal rears its ugly head, strap on a bikini and hit the beach. Problem solved.

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I’m not a big Whitney Port fan. I’ll state that upfront. I’m generally not a fan of any reality TV celebs but I’ll admit there are a few exceptions. Whitney isn’t one of them. She seems like a nice enough girl and fairly down to earth, but that’s not what I want out of a reality star. I don’t want to watch someone that seems like she could be my neighbor being all boring. I want to watch someone hot acting all crazy. That’s what makes reality TV interesting. I don’t find Whitney attractive in the least – at least not in the face – but those legs are outstanding. I’m sure that has a lot to do with her heels but I have to give credit where credit is due. The lady has a nice set of stems, so let’s leave it at that.

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